Gentle parenting impacts learning

 

Do you learn best when you are feeling anxious, angry, shamed, or disconnected? Probably not. Most people thrive in a calm, loving environment where they feel safe to explore. Learning is vulnerable we "take chances, make mistakes and get messy," as Ms. Frizzy from the Magic School Bus likes to say. Gentle parenting will be a huge help to your child no matter if they are in school or homeschooling. As a parent I know you are invested in their education.

In this podcast I talk about:

• What is gentle parenting?
• Specific parenting strategies that help learning and school work
• Coping Strategies for children

Listen to the episode here:

What is Gentle Parenting?

Gentle parenting helps children feel a sense of connection. It is mutually respectful and encouraging. Any gentle parenting strategies are effective long term and teach important social and life skills. Gentle parenting invites children to discover they are capable. Jane Nelson of Positive Discipline

Click image to download the workbook

Positive parenting strategies that help with school work

Parenting communication tools that can be used to gain cooperation, understanding and better connection with your child. These are some strategies that help specifically with learning. You may also enjoy this free video series with even more parenting strategies to fill your tool box.

Asking not telling: Ask open ended questions to get your child thinking. Rather than telling a child what to do all the time, ask for their opinion. Get them to think of the next steps or how to handle a problem.

Taking time for training: Slow down, model and teach routines and methods. Don't always assume your kids should know or remember how to do something.

Routines: Having a strong rhythm and routines helps a child know what is coming next. Their stress and anxiety levels drop and the can relax. This allows them to enjoy the moment and leaves space for curiosity.

Problem Solving: Focusing on solutions, brainstorming and working together helps a child to move past rote learning and into exploration. Throughout our lives we will come across the need to think outside the box and solve problems. Teach your children how to work through their struggles, how to define the problem, brainstorm, choose a solution, evaluate and try again. 

Small Steps: As adults we can often see the big picture and break it down mentally into smaller steps, although many do struggle with that. Children can get overwhelmed easily when a task looks to big to tackle. Help them by breaking it down into smaller chunks and teach them to do the same. A large project, even chores can be broken own into manageable tasks.

Encouragement: Children do not need empty praise and external motivation to learn. However knowing that you believe in them, encouraging and building up their strengths help with their internal motivation and self-esteem. 

Kind and Firm: Gentle parents are not passive. It is good to set loving limits, to be kind and firm. If you and your child have made an agreement, then the agreement needs to be upheld. Of course there will be compromise and discussions, you do not need to be harsh. When work needs to be done you can still offer empathy and hold boundaries.

Empower your kids: Children long to be independent and in charge. Look for ways to offer choice, ask their opinions, and take the lead.

Winning cooperation

Parents often struggle with getting their kids to listen, do as they are told and obey . No one likes being told what to do all the time. It creates resentment, anger and sneaky behavior to get out of the work. Do you recognize this in your home? What if there was another way?

Children often listen when they feel heard and understood. Empathy communication is a way of listening first and them moving towards problem solving. The first step is to observe and state the facts without all the blame, shame or name-calling. Then consider your feelings and your child's. It can be hard to with with those feelings, or to recognize that a child's behavior doesn't always match how they feel. Next look past the feelings and towards the needs behind those feelings. Our emotions are often a warning light showing us that something isn't going well (or that life is fabulous). What need was your child trying to meet with their behavior? What are your needs right now? How can we meet both our needs? Now we are ready to problem solve and work towards a common goal. If you want an in-depth look at this check out Marshall Rosenberg's Non-violent communication.

Coping Skills for kids

Talking about feelings in your home makes emotions welcome. Your children will be less likely to stuff their feelings down and hide them. While it can be a challenge to deal with big feelings, it goes a long way to help our children grow into healthy adults who can handle their own emotions better.

There are many ways to copy with our emotions, especially those that cause frustration or worry. Coping skills are healthy strategies to help us manage rather than feeling overwhelmed.

• Calming strategies are those that help the mind and body to relax. 
• Distraction strategies help take your mind of your problems for a while
• Physical strategies are great for burning of energy or getting you energized when you need to get going.
• Processing strategies are those that encourage you to reflect and work through the emotions.

A connected child feels understood and safe. When a person feels safe, their defenses go down. They are more willing to cooperate and learning can happen. Connecting with your child helps them to learn. All of these strategies work towards creating a closer bond with your child. Homeschooling and helping your child with their school work is all about relationships.

Watch the YouTube video workshop here:

Resources mentioned on the podcast:

Brave Writer with Julie Bogart (I also got to interview Julie here)

Positive Discipline with Jane Nelson

Non-Violent Communication with Marshall Rosenberg

There are many blog posts linked and many more resources I'd love to share with you. Be sure to look around the blog here for more on gentle parenting and homeschooling.

Blog

YouTube

Pinterest

The power of a gentle answer

 

Have you ever noticed that you get defensive and guarded when someone speaks to you harshly?

 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger Proverbs 15:1

This verse has so much meaning in the way we speak to anyone, ourselves included. Empathy and compassion go a long way to being heard and understood.  Today, take notice of the way you speak to others, in your marriage, with friends, and in business. You may find that the snippy cashier softens her tone when you respond kindly. We often forget that the other person may have a lot going on in their lives that we can’t see.

Your children feel the same way about being spoken to harshly, and they will copy that tone in how they respond back or deal with siblings. When one of my boys is upset he will name call or put down another sibling. Of course, that gets the other boys, going and soon there is a huge shouting match going on. For my passionate boys this can escalate very quickly into something physical all because of the slip of the tongue. Helping my boys to work through their misunderstandings and offering empathy towards their hurt feelings goes a long way to deescalate the situation. 

Proverbs 15:4 reminds us that our words can bring life, but can also pierce like the sword in Proverbs 12:18. It is important to guard your tongue. 

It is time to break the cycle. Choose your words carefully and consider your tone. If you notice that someone is speaking to your rudely try responding with kindness and see if that changes their approach. Most often they felt threatened and defensive. Of course, it can be hard not to take things personally and get offended, and you may mess up along the way. But the more often you respond with a gentle answer, the easier it will become. 

Think about how you would want to be spoken to. Your children, I know, will want to be spoken to in the same way. They long for a listening ear and tender words. Now go out into your day and offer that same love, grace, empathy, and enthusiasm to those around you. Be the magnetic force, that amazing person that every one opens up to because they know you will respond in love. 

Taken from Joyful Motherhood: Deepen your connection with God and your children. 

Reflect

What is God saying to you today?

How is your mood connected to the words you speak?

What are your biggest challenges in offering a gentle response? 

Is there anything about your tone or language God is asking you to change? 

Recall a time you responded gently. How did that feel? Celebrate the gentle loving mother you are.

Bible verses on speech

From the KJV

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Colossians 4:6

Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Matthew 5:1

Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness. Proverbs 15:1-2

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit. Proverbs 15:4

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Proverbs 21:23

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: James 1:19

FREE Posters

It can really help the to have reminders posted around the house when you are focusing on changing your behavior. I often tell people that the feelings wall in the house was put there more for myself than the kids. I needed reminders so I could be a good model for my children.

You can get free posters right here

Overcoming worry

 

*If you are struggling with anxiety please speak with your doctor or seek help. This post is not meant to make light of a serious issue or condition.*

Thanksgiving is an antidote to worry.

The world is changing; our life as we knew it has changed significantly. Major world events have a way of rocking the boat and making big waves. As I write this, the whole world has shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It feels unsafe and scary. Every day there is news of health concerns and injustice. Add to this all the pressures of daily life, work, school, and parenting. No wonder we feel a sense of fear and anxiety looming over us.

But we cannot live life in fear. No one can operate well from a place of worry and stress. It will cripple you and shut you down. So what can you do? How can you break free of the anxiety and fear that has gripped you and me?

Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us not to be anxious but to go to God in prayer and to be thankful, then his peace will guard our hearts.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Thanksgiving is an antidote. It sets your mind on blessings and the source of all those good things (James 1:7). A heart of gratitude fills up with hope. We are reminded of our powerful God who brings us peace.

Yes, even peace in our hearts amongst the chaos and pain. As you give thanks for all that you have and what he has done in the past, God’s faithfulness will reassure you that He will always help you through anything you face.

Notice too that coming to God in prayer, sharing your worries, and giving them to Him will also give you peace. Now don’t just complain and vent and keep those worries in your heart. You need to believe that He will take your anxious thoughts from consuming your energy and time.

There have been many times in my life that I let anxiety take over. The first time we went through contract renewals in our family business worry about our financial stability consumed me. I desperately began looking for ways to earn money and stay at home with my children. To be honest I can barely remember whole seasons of their childhood around that time. Praise God He has taught me an important lesson. I know this world is not all there is for me. I have a heavenly home that is perfect. These troubles here are temporary. I can choose to spend my time worrying or I can live a life of joy. I choose joy.

This was taken from the Joyful Motherhood Devotional.

How can I help my children with worry and anxiety?

Whatever we practice and learn for ourselves we can also teach our children. When you set your mind on the gift and blessings in your life, you also set you mind on the giver of those gifts.

• Tell someone about your worries or journal, don't keep them in your head
• Pray and share your anxious thoughts with God
• Take time to reflect on times when God has been faithful
• Remind yourself of His character
• List your blessings and thank God for all he has done
• Fill your mind with truths, even write them out or repeat them

Bible Verses about Worry and Anxiety

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you Psalm 56:3 ESV

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ Matthew 6:31

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand Isaiah 41:10

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 118:6

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation. Psalm 118:21

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Psalm 118:1

Reflect

What are you worried or anxious about? 

Are you worried about something but have no let go of that? 

Are you giving thanks in all areas of your life? 

Do you have faith and believe that God will give you peace? 

Recall a time when you felt God’s peace.

A year in review for Joyful Mud Puddles

Back in March of 2020 when the world shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic, I felt the itch to start blogging again after a long break. God placed it on my heart to do more than just blog occasionally. He wanted me to become a parenting coach so I could offer support to struggling parents.

As time went on the idea grew larger. Not only did I start blogging again, I became a parenting coach, started a podcast, built a growing online community and published a book! Not to mention the many guest appearances on TV, podcasts, magazines, blogs and newspapers.

 

Wow I can't believe the Joyful Mud Puddles Podcast is on episode 33 already! Check out these amazing episodes (first few episodes didn't have blog posts)

1. Welcome to the Joyful Mud Puddles Podcast 
2. Alternative strategies to punishments and rewards 
3. Interview with Brooke Gordon - Health and Strategic Life Coach 
4. Challenges facing peaceful parents 
5. Interview with Erin Fleming Parenting and Unschooling Coach 
6. Self Regulation for the whole family 
7. Interview with Sasha Walsh Adaptive Yoga 
8. Talking about Feelings with your Family 
9. Ideas to help siblings connect 
10. Creating a Language Rich Home with Julie Bogart of Brave Writer 
11. The Heart of Homeschooling - Creating a homeschooling journey for your unique family 
12. Interview with Kristie Burns - Waldorf Education and Earthschooling Curriculum 
13. Interview with Zara Fagen Minimalist Homeschooling 
14. Homeschooling Advice from Lindsey Casselman 
15. Fit and Healthy Families: Interview with Dr. Orlena Kerek 
16. How to get your child to listen 
17. Infant Sleep Development: Interview with Heather Boyd 
18. Speech-Language Pathologist Interview with Rebecca Wong Kai Pun 
19. Understanding Obedience and Cooperation for Christian Parents 
20. Choosing the right Dog for your family: Podcast Interview with Michelle Stern 
21. Simplicity Parenting Interview with Kim John Payne 
22. Top Tips for Handling Overwhelm 
23. How to SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE from drowning in clutter 
24. How to SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE with a predictable rhythm 
25. How to SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE by balancing your schedule 
26. Supporting your teens – Interview with Charlene Clark 
27. Moms Supporting Each Other – Interview with Ashley Davis 
28. Balancing Working and Being a mom – Interview with Lori Ervin 
29. Self Care for Moms – Interview with Jackie Johnson 
30. How to Avoid Holiday Overwhelm and Burnout 
31. Help! My kids don't play with toys
32. Christmas Treasures – A lesson from Mary
33. A year in review

Christmas Treasures - Lessons from Mary

 

As we get closer to Christmas our thoughts turn towards Jesus' birth. Over the years I have considered different parts of the Nativity. Often wondering what it would have been like for each of the people involved.  There are many wonderful picture books written from a different perspectives. All of which still choke me up year after year at the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

This year as I have been wrapped up in the middle of writing a devotional book for mothers, a single verse stuck out in the book of Luke. 

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke 2:19

 

My mind has been focused this year on the connection between our relationship with God and how that is reflected in our relationship with our children.

Here we see Mary soaking in everything that has been going on around her. Remembering most likely her visit with the angel Gabriel, her miraculous pregnancy, Jesus birth, and the visit with the shepherds. So much to take in all at once especially having just given birth, and in a stable! God had come down and touched her life very personally. He was real and faithful in His promises. So Mary treasured this moment in her heart. There were no iPhones around to snap a photo. Mary could not even grasp the magnitude of all that had happened. But she knew it was a special moment and this was an incredibly special baby.

As a mom I can relate to Mary. The miracle of birth, even in all the chaos that follows, amazes us as we hold our precious new born. These treasured moments connect us to our little one and the One who created this little miracle.

In the busyness of life do you still take time to treasure moments and think about them?

Do you stand in awe of all God has done in your life? 

Do you pause during your day to be present with your children? 

To savor the moment and take a picture in your mind. There is so much more to remember than a photograph can show. The feelings, the events surrounding that moment and the significant meaning of it all. Some times as mothers we get caught up in the details of life, our to-do lists and work. Time passes all too quickly and we realize we rely on Facebook memories to remember special events in our lives.

Take a lesson from Mary. This Christmas I encourage you to take the time to thank God for all the blessings in your life. Consider the magnitude, wonder and events of the first Christmas. Worship Jesus, who came personally into the world to rescue, love and forgive us. And be sure to pause in the midst of your festivities to enjoy being with your kids. Treasure all these things. Store them in your heart and think about them.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 

Matthew 6:21

How to Avoid Holiday Overwhelm and Burnout

The Holiday Season has arrived and with this crazy year of COVID-19 and social distancing, it is even more important than ever to care for your mental health.  Lets take a look at how to avoid Holiday overwhelm and burnout.

Here is another article I wrote about Holiday Meltdowns

And one on holiday meltdowns

I've included journaling and reflection questions for you to think about. These are meant to help guide you towards a more joyful peaceful holiday season.

Values and Priorities 

What holiday/celebrations are you wanting to plan for? 

What are your favourite holiday memories? 

Ask your kids about their favourite memories and what they are looking forward to? What are your top activities you want to include? 

Make a must do list and a nice to have list 

Reflect:

What are your priorities this season? (health, connection, faith, mental health, fun) What are your values? 

Overwhelm and Burnout

What causes you the most problems each year around the holidays? 

What are you anticipating to be your biggest struggles this year? 

The most common thing is burn-out. Moms put so much work into making this big elaborate holiday and end up disappointed or feeling sick afterwards. 

1. Limiting beliefs or what we tell ourselves. All the I shoulds and I have to. Let's change to I choose to or choose not to because… 

2. Over scheduling 

3. Self care is forgotten so make it a priority

4. Be at peace with simple, effective and joyful 

Reflect:

What is your list of I should, I have to? Rewrite the list with I choose to, or I choose not to. Take a look at your calendar does it reflect your values and priorities?

Creating a closer connection with your family 

So often the holiday season turns in to a bank account drain, anxiety about gifts and a lack of gratitude/thanksgiving. Remember the real reason for the season, what are your values and priorities. If connection or quality time is high on your list then make sure your calendar and budget reflect that. Look back at your lists from above. What are your big things you are aiming for this season? 

Kids really want you the most. How can you give of yourself and create connection? 

1. calendar of activities (I have a free one for my subscribers)

2. have a theme for the month 

3. create special traditions or rituals 

4. decide what your gifts will be and your mindset towards giving 

5. choose things most of you will find enjoyable 

6. Keep it simple. You can't do it all 

 

Reflect:

What activities do your family enjoy doing most this time of year? What is NOT going on the list?

What are your obligations for work, school, family events?

What traditions, activities, themes etc. do you want to include? Keep it simple.

What is your mindset towards gift giving? 

Boundaries and Meltdowns 

Okay these are two huge topics. I really encourage you to reach out to me if you want to figure out what you will say, write scripts, and roll play if that helps. 

What are your biggest struggles with boundaries and meltdowns/ attitude/ behaviour over the holiday season? 

Boundaries are important. It does take a lot of work sometimes to see both people’s point of view, honour needs and create compromise if possible. But ultimately this is your family and you are in charge of what you let into your lives. 

Remember you are modeling for your children what healthy adult relationships are like. Not everyone has the perfect life, so let’s get real. There are people who are going to push the limits. You need to decide which battles you will take on. Where do you draw the line? 

Pray, get a partner or family on board and be consistent and bold. Brave even. Be sure to respectful and gentle when dealing with others.

 

Meltdowns: Be consistent and keep it simple. Here are some areas to focus on

• Sleep 
• Eating 
• Exercise 
• Expectations 
• Rhythm 
• Overload (crap, toys and such)

• 

During a meltdown 

• Remember this isn’t an emergency 
• You have the right to your feelings (don’t feel bullied) 
• You are the parent, you handle it your way 
• Offer empathy 
• Create or find a safe space 
• Listen to your child 
• Understand that emotions are extra high this time of year 
• Regulate your emotions 
• Try to be consistent from how you are at home in dealing with a meltdown if you are out somewhere 
• Ignore the stares and comments

Reflect: Write about your biggest struggles. Start to craft a plan including what you’ll say.

Success and mindset  

You won’t see change if you don’t do the work.  

What is your vision of success? 

What is your new plan for the holidays? 

Choose Joy

Focus on the bigger picture rather than the small details 

Remember the reason for the season 

Reflect:

What more do you need to work on practically and mentally?  

What questions do you still have? 

What areas are you stuck? 

What is your new mindset? 

What are you going to do to keep that positive mental attitude? 

I wish you all peace and joy this season. 

Self Care for Moms - Interview with Jackie Johnson

Managing children, working and being a mom can be overwhelming at times. It can be hard to find time for ourselves and keep a positive mindset. Hearing about how other moms handle the demands of life can be inspiring and give us some great tips we might now have thought of. This year I have met some of the most amazing women. This week I'm chatting with a fellow entrepreneur and homeschooling mom.

About Jackie

Jackie Johnson is a Holistic Brand Strategist who founded Wildling Botanicals, Wildling Dreams and Wildling Herbs. Through her businesses, she has created proprietary body care and herbal supplement products from homegrown, clean ingredients she farms herself. Jackie's credentials also include a 15 year career in business, helping grow retail, hospitality and fitness companies before striking out on her own to create luxury wellness products she wasn't finding in the marketplace. She brings a much-needed perspective to the beauty world by joining nature and business together, so that she can empower others to continue growing into the #wildbeauty they already are inside and out.

In this episode we talk about:

• How Jackie got started with Wildling Botanicals
• How to manage running businesses and being a mom
•  Include your children and make it part of the family lifestyle
• Making time for yourself 
• What happens when kids interrupt your quiet time
• Teaching our children self care
• Our empathetic children and how to help
• Be proactive instead of reactive to stress in your home
• Self care tips for moms
• Community is a key part to self care
• Holiday self care advice

Connect with Jackie

Wildling Botanicals: https://www.wildlingbotanicals.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wildlingbotanicals

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wildling_botanicals/

LinkdIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/wildling-botanicals/

Wildling Dreams : https://www.wildlingdreams.com/

Wildling Herbs: https://www.wildlingherbs.com/

How to Support your teens - Podcast Interview with Charlene Clark

 

Teenage years can often throw parents for a loop. It is so wonderful that there is support and guidance available. What a blessing to chat with another mom to share her wisdom and advice on connecting more with your teens.

Charlene Clark is the founder of Legacy Moms, a program geared toward Christian mothers who desire more resources and support for themselves & their teens. She is passionate about teaching & empowering children to recognize their potential. She is a certified K-6th grade teacher and also has many years of experience as a ministry youth leader. She is full of ideas, resources and optimism for what is possible when it comes to cultivating our children to walk in their purpose.

During this episode we talk about:

• How Legacy Moms started
• Family life
• How to support your teen
• Creating an open line of communication
• Tips for parents with teens
• Family time together
• Conversation starters
• Love Languages (By Gary Chapman)
• Focus on relationships
• Parent self-care
• Kids and hobbies and activities

Connect with Charlene

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/legacymoms2020

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/683388885504237/

Website: https://legacy-moms.yolasite.com/

Top tips to help manage the overwhelm

How are you doing mama? Are you managing and coping okay?

There is so much going on in the world and in your life. I wonder if you wish you had the coping skills to deal with it all. Maybe you feel like the joy has been sucked out of your family or you just aren’t experiencing motherhood or parenting the way you wish you were. 

You are not alone. I can very much relate to those feelings. I am right there in the trenches with you and I know where you are coming from. In fact I bet you have a friend or relative who is feeling the same way. I encourage you to share this post and podcast episode with them. Today I’ll share a few things that helped me go from overwhelmed and frustrated to confidence and peace!

 

First is mindset because what you believe about yourself and your situation is more likely to come true. Your thoughts dictate your feelings and those lead to actions and results. 

I start with mindset first because parenting is all about the parent! Most families I work with come to me because of challenges they face with their children. I share strategies and tips that work, but without working on yourself first those are just going to be another tool that you tried and didn’t work. 

Take a moment and think about these questions:

What are your thoughts about yourself as a mom, woman, and partner? 

Who are you? The real you? 

Write down your beliefs – they may come from childhood, relationships, experiences along the way. Find scripture to counteract those limiting beliefs. Let’s rewrite the story, the lies you have been telling yourself. 

Corinthians 5:10 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 

You see when you believe in yourself and in the amazing God who can carry you through anything, you will bring that energy into your day. You hold the space. 

• I am not smart – If you ask for wisdom God give it freely (James 1:5) 
• I am a mean mom – God did not give us a spirit of timidity but one of power love and self control (2 Timothy 1:7) 
• I can’t change or I can’t do this - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13) 

More tips for Mindset 

• Journal 
• Do a daily affirmation 
• Write down verses and quotes your bathroom mirror (go ahead and take your kid’s window markers!) 
• Daily devotionals 
• Pray and ask God to reveal to you those limiting beliefs and guide you to His word that will overcome. 
• Gratitude journal 

Self Care 

It is not selfish to care for yourself. It is essential. You hold the space for your family. If you are not at your best, or working on that, it shows. 

How often do you worry about the amount of veggies your kids are getting? How many about obsessing over your kids’ sleep habits? I bet your kids are being cared for in the most amazing ways, and yet as moms we can get through the whole morning and realize we haven’t even gone to the bathroom yet! Am I right? 

I get that you are busy and don’t have time. But there are some very real practical things you can do to help care for yourself. YOU need to realize your value and put yourself as a priority too! Take time to focus on your sleep, food and exercise. Do these things with your kids to get the whole family involved. 

More tips for self care 

• Set a timer to check in 
• Drink more water 
• Focus on breathing 
• Do one thing every day for yourself that you enjoy! 
• You are not just a mom, when you take time to rediscover yourself you inspire your children too. They are watching. You are modeling (good and bad) 
• Go for a walk 
• Get outside 
• Accomplish something (do a task, yard work, check off a list) 
• Listen to music 

Coping Skills 
These are strategies and techniques to help you manage. Some are self care of course. There are different types of coping skills such as calming, physical, distracting, and processing. Try many out to figure what works best for you. Do them as a family as that will benefit your children too. Make a poster if that helps as a visual reminder. 

Community 

You are not alone. I know I’ve said that before but do you believe it? It can be very humbling and awkward to accept help but when we do we open up the doors for God to work in both lives. 

• Let people whom you trust, know you are struggling 
• Keep searching for like minded families 
• Find a listening ear 
• Get help and accountability 

Final thoughts 

It may take time but, progress is better than none or getting worse. It is not wasted time but it is an investment in the future, in your family, and in your self. If you want me to check in on you send me a message or let me know in the comments. I believe in you. 

If you found today’s message helpful PLEASE share it with others, invite your friends to join the community, leave a rating and review, connect with me. 

Here are some links I mentioned (let me know if I forgot any) 

Positive affirmations Pinterest board 

Self Care Pinterest board

Feelings Pinterest board