Catching yourself before you blow up is so hard. I know. I still struggle with recognizing my triggers and dealing with them immediately. But the more you practice the better you will get. Each time you stop yourself from repeating old patterns, you are making new connections in your brain for the better.
Catching yourself before you get too triggered is definitely the challenge. Daily mindfulness activities such as journaling, prayer, meditation and self-care are excellent proactive ways to help yourself.
I also like to have a few mantras in my mind so that when I am stressed they automatically come to mind. You can download FREE parenting mantras. Reminders to myself such as "This is not an emergency", "Choose love", "my child is having a hard time" and "I can do this", all help me when I feel triggered. To gain access to ALL my freebies, sign up for my newsletter.
Another excellent mantra or key word is STOP. I have seen this STOP acronym used many places, each with a slight variation on the wording, so I can't give credit to the originator. I'd like to share my version based on all the work I do with parents and children. This version can used by all family members in a variety of situation! Wether stressed, anxious, or angry you can STOP the thoughts running wild in your head and choose a different path.
Let's take a deeper look at what each of the letters stands for. And be sure to download your FREE copy of my STOP Mindfulness Method PDF posters. I'll explain what is in the kit below.
S - Stop what you are doing. Most likely this isn't an emergency. Drop your agenda and what you were trying to do before you got triggered. This also means to stop talking, yelling fighting or panicking! And it is totally okay to stop in the middle of it. Imagine pressing the pause button in your mind.
T - Take a few deep breaths. Use this time to calm down and get control over your emotions. Try some calming strategies like breathing or getting a drink.Take a break if you need to or walk a way for a moment.
O - Observe what is going on. Think about how you are feeling and notice how your body is reacting. Consider what you need most right now. Also think about your situation without judgement or blame if you can. Consider your situation and observe how those around you are reacting.
P - Plan and then proceed. No it is time to consider your next steps. This could include more coping skills or calming techniques if you are still upset. Consider what you might need to ask of yourself or others to move forward. Perhaps you are ready to problem solve solutions. Then you can proceed with your plan.
For those who have a strong faith or belief you might also wish to use
P for Prayer. Silently or aloud, offering up a prayer for help reminds you that you don't have to handle your emotions alone.
Working through these steps takes time to learn, and practice. Keep going and over time you'll see amazing results. Try them first on yourself and then you can be a better model for your children. I go over these steps and explain them a bit more in this Video.
Now that you know what to do it is time to try it out for yourself at home, or at school. Of course I've got you covered! Sign up for the Joyful Mud Puddles Newsletter and get access to all my posters and printables.
Inside the kit:
Colour Poster
Back and White Poster
Individual card for each letter
I'd love to hear how it went. How is your family using this resource?
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