The power of a gentle answer

 

Have you ever noticed that you get defensive and guarded when someone speaks to you harshly?

 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger Proverbs 15:1

This verse has so much meaning in the way we speak to anyone, ourselves included. Empathy and compassion go a long way to being heard and understood.  Today, take notice of the way you speak to others, in your marriage, with friends, and in business. You may find that the snippy cashier softens her tone when you respond kindly. We often forget that the other person may have a lot going on in their lives that we can’t see.

Your children feel the same way about being spoken to harshly, and they will copy that tone in how they respond back or deal with siblings. When one of my boys is upset he will name call or put down another sibling. Of course, that gets the other boys, going and soon there is a huge shouting match going on. For my passionate boys this can escalate very quickly into something physical all because of the slip of the tongue. Helping my boys to work through their misunderstandings and offering empathy towards their hurt feelings goes a long way to deescalate the situation. 

Proverbs 15:4 reminds us that our words can bring life, but can also pierce like the sword in Proverbs 12:18. It is important to guard your tongue. 

It is time to break the cycle. Choose your words carefully and consider your tone. If you notice that someone is speaking to your rudely try responding with kindness and see if that changes their approach. Most often they felt threatened and defensive. Of course, it can be hard not to take things personally and get offended, and you may mess up along the way. But the more often you respond with a gentle answer, the easier it will become. 

Think about how you would want to be spoken to. Your children, I know, will want to be spoken to in the same way. They long for a listening ear and tender words. Now go out into your day and offer that same love, grace, empathy, and enthusiasm to those around you. Be the magnetic force, that amazing person that every one opens up to because they know you will respond in love. 

Taken from Joyful Motherhood: Deepen your connection with God and your children. 

Reflect

What is God saying to you today?

How is your mood connected to the words you speak?

What are your biggest challenges in offering a gentle response? 

Is there anything about your tone or language God is asking you to change? 

Recall a time you responded gently. How did that feel? Celebrate the gentle loving mother you are.

Bible verses on speech

From the KJV

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Colossians 4:6

Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man. Matthew 5:1

Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness. Proverbs 15:1-2

A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit. Proverbs 15:4

Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. Proverbs 21:23

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: James 1:19

FREE Posters

It can really help the to have reminders posted around the house when you are focusing on changing your behavior. I often tell people that the feelings wall in the house was put there more for myself than the kids. I needed reminders so I could be a good model for my children.

You can get free posters right here

Overcoming worry

 

*If you are struggling with anxiety please speak with your doctor or seek help. This post is not meant to make light of a serious issue or condition.*

Thanksgiving is an antidote to worry.

The world is changing; our life as we knew it has changed significantly. Major world events have a way of rocking the boat and making big waves. As I write this, the whole world has shut down due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It feels unsafe and scary. Every day there is news of health concerns and injustice. Add to this all the pressures of daily life, work, school, and parenting. No wonder we feel a sense of fear and anxiety looming over us.

But we cannot live life in fear. No one can operate well from a place of worry and stress. It will cripple you and shut you down. So what can you do? How can you break free of the anxiety and fear that has gripped you and me?

Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us not to be anxious but to go to God in prayer and to be thankful, then his peace will guard our hearts.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Thanksgiving is an antidote. It sets your mind on blessings and the source of all those good things (James 1:7). A heart of gratitude fills up with hope. We are reminded of our powerful God who brings us peace.

Yes, even peace in our hearts amongst the chaos and pain. As you give thanks for all that you have and what he has done in the past, God’s faithfulness will reassure you that He will always help you through anything you face.

Notice too that coming to God in prayer, sharing your worries, and giving them to Him will also give you peace. Now don’t just complain and vent and keep those worries in your heart. You need to believe that He will take your anxious thoughts from consuming your energy and time.

There have been many times in my life that I let anxiety take over. The first time we went through contract renewals in our family business worry about our financial stability consumed me. I desperately began looking for ways to earn money and stay at home with my children. To be honest I can barely remember whole seasons of their childhood around that time. Praise God He has taught me an important lesson. I know this world is not all there is for me. I have a heavenly home that is perfect. These troubles here are temporary. I can choose to spend my time worrying or I can live a life of joy. I choose joy.

This was taken from the Joyful Motherhood Devotional.

How can I help my children with worry and anxiety?

Whatever we practice and learn for ourselves we can also teach our children. When you set your mind on the gift and blessings in your life, you also set you mind on the giver of those gifts.

• Tell someone about your worries or journal, don't keep them in your head
• Pray and share your anxious thoughts with God
• Take time to reflect on times when God has been faithful
• Remind yourself of His character
• List your blessings and thank God for all he has done
• Fill your mind with truths, even write them out or repeat them

Bible Verses about Worry and Anxiety

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you Psalm 56:3 ESV

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ Matthew 6:31

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand Isaiah 41:10

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 118:6

When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Proverbs 3:24

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

I will give you thanks, for you answered me; you have become my salvation. Psalm 118:21

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Psalm 118:1

Reflect

What are you worried or anxious about? 

Are you worried about something but have no let go of that? 

Are you giving thanks in all areas of your life? 

Do you have faith and believe that God will give you peace? 

Recall a time when you felt God’s peace.

You are more than just a mom

 

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You are more than JUST a mom!

Do you ever feel like you are losing yourself in this motherhood role? You used to have passions, hobbies, an identity.

I wear many hats and play many roles as a mother, wife, sister, daughter, business owner, etc. As a Christian another identity I have is in Christ. I am a daughter of the Most High God! A daughter of the King! Wow that is powerful.

Read Galatians 4:4-7

Motherhood changes everything. It turns your life around and consumes you. Your tiny precious baby needs all your attention. Even as they grow children need you. But it can begin to feel like that has become your identity. I want to remind you my friend that you are more than just a mom. Don’t get me wrong, being a mother is to be honored and is very worthy. But you are more. Don’t lose yourself in the journey of parenting. Your children can see that and you will too. Resentment, bitterness, longing, and depression can set in when you think of all the other things in life you had wanted to do.  

I remember slowly packing away more and more of my craft supplies with each new baby I brought home. We needed the space and my handiwork was not a priority. I love to be creative and crafting is my outlet. I didn’t notice the difference in me at first as I was too busy with my boys, but as time went on I began to miss it. One day while cleaning my closet I brought out the sewing machine. My boys were fascinated and asked me to show them how it worked. This opened up a whole new way for my children and me to connect. 

Be sure to keep up with your hobbies, passions, and interests. Share what brings you joy with your family. Not only is it a great model for being a healthy adult, but it will bring you closer too. Your kids want to get to know the real you.

Someone else wants to get to know the real you too. When I say you are more than just a mom, I want you to know you are a daughter too. Not only do you have your earthly parents but, you have a loving Heavenly Father who cares deeply for you. 

You are a daughter of the King! You, yes you the one reading this. You are a princess and joint-heir with Jesus Christ. Can you feel the power and overwhelming love wrapped up in those statements? 

In the same way that your children depend on you for all things, so we can depend on God. He will provide for all your physical needs. Our wonderful Father also gives us wisdom, love, forgiveness, and even correction. As you move through these devotionals think about how your relationship with God is also a reflection of your relationship with your children. As you are growing closer to God, learning principles and truths, you can also apply these to your children. You have many roles in life and, many relationships with family, friends, and work. You are a daughter and a mother learning and guiding at the same time. Some of you may even be trying to re-parent yourself as you parent your children. Never forget who you are, whose child and daughter you are.

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Joyful Motherhood is a 31 day devotional for busy moms. Deepen your connection with God and your children. Now available on Amazon and Kindle.