Mom, You Have A Magic Power To Change Your Home

Today I am so thrilled to have Wendy Gunn from Your Home for God as a guest. Wendy has such wisdom and advice to share with us.

Your Amazing Magic Skill by Wendy Gunn

How a Simple Skill Will Guarantee Smiling Children

Do you wish for a more joyful home and family? Do your children complain and bicker? Would you love to have happy, obedient children? And see smiles on your family’s faces?

What if you had the power to turn your home and family from sour to sweet?

When I was raising our children, I remember one day I walked into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and was appalled! I immediately smiled at myself, without thinking, and then my heart was chagrined to think that my children had been seeing their mama look at them like that. How much would change if we smiled?

Here are some facts about that magic skill you have that can powerfully transform the people around you (and yourself)!

Did you know:

·     According to various studies, smiling is considered contagious.

·     Smiling activates the release of neuropeptides, neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, which decrease stress levels, relax the body, lower heart rate, and blood pressure, and serve as an antidepressant/mood lifter.

·     Children smile as many as 400 times a day!

·     Babies smile even in the womb.

Proverbs 17:22—"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…”

Proverbs 15:13—"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance…”

I Smile Therefore I’m Happy

You may be thinking, “I don’t feel like smiling.” “My kids’ behavior doesn’t call for a smile.” “If you had my life, you wouldn’t smile, either.”

I want to ask you, “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”

Studies have shown that a smile is beneficial to your health and affects your mood. Unlike the coffee shop, gym, or shopping excursion, it’s free!

Did you grow up in a home where you received smiles? Who do you want to please, the person who smiles at you, or the person who looks at you with disappointment on their face all the time? Your children may not be able to express it, but they’d do just about anything for your smile.

A Grateful Countenance

Is it possible that a smile isn’t the result of happiness, but may be the cause of it?

What does the Word of God say about this? A heart of gratitude is God's will for us. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Gratitude will transform our parenting, homes, and put a smile on our faces. Let’s begin to cultivate a heart of gratitude, and not wait for emotional happiness! Then, I believe we can develop the habit of wearing a cheerful expression that is genuine, from the heart.

When we obey Philippians 4:8 and think on what is true, honest, pure, of good report, and worthy of praise, our thoughts will overflow into our hearts, producing thankfulness, which will, in turn, change our countenance: our eyes and mouth will reflect our heart!

There is scientific evidence to indicate that you can also work backward, and your smile will affect your heart! I believe God would have us do both at the same time!

Practice wearing a facial expression that is pleasant, happy even, and see if it doesn’t make a difference! Here are some reasons why.

Observations I’ve Made About Smiling

It’s difficult to complain while smiling!

It’s hard to be unhappy for long while smiling!

Others around you will smile when you smile, and that makes you smile more!

Begin the Habit of Smiling:

1.   Think of all the Lord has done for you: Read Psalm 34 and the last chapters of Psalms, especially Psalm 150!

2.   Make a little folder in your brain of things that make you smile:

a)   People you love

b)   Flowers, gardens, trees or other scenery you love

c)   The ocean or other places you enjoy visiting

d)   Babies

e)   Kittens and puppies

f)    Funny experiences

g)   Favorite foods

h)   Happy memories

Store up memories that make you smile and start and end the day with gratitude. There is always something to be thankful for!

Take your thoughts captive and determine to think on those things that are lovely, praiseworthy, good, true, honest, of good report, as Philippians 4 commands! And let your mouth curve upward as you think of them!

Psalm 150 doesn’t indicate that you have to feel happy before you obey this command. But, maybe you’ll feel happier afterward if you read them to your children (who will easily memorize and recite these verses) daily! What facial expression do you think the Lord had in mind when He led the Psalmist to write these words?

Today, put on a smile!

 

Psalm 150: “Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.

² Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.

³ Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.

⁴ Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.

⁵ Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.

⁶ Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.”

Talking about feelings with your children

Do you talk about feelings in your family? 

Many people grew up in homes where feelings were not discussed and crying was frowned upon. In todays society feelings and emotions are far more welcome and accepted, but parents aren't sure how to handle them, or begin to discuss them with their children.

In our home I wanted very much for my three boys to feel comfortable expressing themselves and to learn how to handle their big feelings.

Here are some things we do to make talking about our emotions just a regular part of our everyday, rather than it being something awkward.

Read - picture books are a fantastic way to introduce any concept in a fun non-threatening way. Reading together is also a great time of connections. Follow this link to find some great books on my Pinterest board.

Pinterest board for picture books about emotions

Feelings wall - We have a whole wall of our home devoted to feelings. It changes every so often so I've included some different pictures here. Basically we can refer to this wall when we are feeling upset and I also practice calming strategies with my boys when they are calm. 

Printable Posters for your Feelings Wall

Pinterest board all about feelings

YouTube Video Describing our Feelings Wall

Sign up for my newsletter at the bottom of the post and gain access to all my free posters

Regular check-ins - I make it a point to regularly check in with my boys. During dinner we share how our day went. I also make an effort to be aware of their feelings and ask how they are doing throughout the day and before bed. My oldest is great at this, he has come to know he can come to me any time and share what is on his mind. 

Part of our regular rhythm is a weekly family meeting. The boys can add items to the agenda any time and we are sure to discuss and problem solve every weekend. If there is a pressing need we of course deal with it right away.

Don't punish big feelings - Negative feelings are tragic expressions of unmet needs. When a child is upset it can take some detective work to figure out what is really going on underneath the emotions and behavior. What your child needs is guidance and help to navigate the overwhelm rather than being punished. Empathy and some techniques to calm down will let you be able to guide your child towards problem solving. Remember connection over correction!

For more support in your parenting journey follow me on Facebook and Instagram @joyfulmudpuddles and join my Parenting Support Group on Facebook

9 Ways that Dads Engage in Parenting and Homeschooling

Happy Fathers Day!!

 

Dads play a huge role in parenting and homeschooling, but they are often overlooked. Often it could be because of the style of homeschooling or that dad isn’t home as much during the day, regardless of the excuses I think we should celebrate all the ways dad ca be involved and thrive!

 

It truly helps the most if both parents are on the same page as far as parenting or homeschooling style/method. You will certainly not do everything alike, but major division will make things harder in the home. A united front is going to model for the children that you are a family unit who works together.

 

Dads are excellent at leading bible studies or daily devotionals. Whether that is over dinner discussions or a set time as a family. Dads have a great way of taking charge and leading in a unique way.

 

My children always look forward to daddy coming home from work The evening slips by too quickly and suddenly it is time for bed. Bedtime stories are always extra special when dad reads to the kids. My husband also helps put the youngest to bed each night and prays with the older boys and tucks them in too.

 

I bet there is a super skill that dad has. Perhaps related to his job or hobby that he can teach the children. My boys are always learning about cars, computers and electronics from my husband. He takes the time to help the boys work on their own projects too.

 

Along with sharing a passion or interest with the kids, dads are often really good as teaching a subject. They often have a unique way of looking at things or explaining it that might click with a particular child. My husband will often take time to help with reading, printing and math because he has insight into the way my boys are thinking and processing information.

 

Life skills are always important for anyone to learn. Dads are often very involved here when they allow the children to help with things like fixing and repairs around the house. How about grocery shopping and cooking or learning about money? There are a lot of every day practical thing that we over look and don’t ‘count’ but fathers are constantly building into their children.

 

Character building is a naturally part of parenting. Fathers are great role models for children when they demonstrate empathy, kindness, forgiveness and apologies. They can encourage their children and help to guide them in the right direction. I love when fathers join us for the parenting courses I offer. They have great insight and truly want to connect with their kids.

 

Support and encouragement is one thing I truly appreciate from my husband. I know that he is my biggest cheer leader. He believes in me as a person as well as what I'm doing with our homeschooling and parenting. He is someone I can talk to and lean on. He is also the same way with our children. They know he will always be there for them with love and wisdom.

 

Practical help is an obvious way fathers are essential to the family. Dads are the ones kids often go to for practical help. They often jump in behind the scenes to help the house hold run smoothly.

So let's celebrate the awesome dads, uncles, grandfathers and male figures in our children's lives. Those who truly love our kids and help them to grow.

Tell me about the special father figures in your family

For more support in your parenting journey follow me on Facebook and Instagram @joyfulmudpuddles and join my Parenting Support Group on Facebook

S.T.O.P. Mindfulness Method for Self-Regulation

Catching yourself before you blow up is so hard. I know. I still struggle with recognizing my triggers and dealing with them immediately. But the more you practice the better you will get. Each time you stop yourself from repeating old patterns, you are making new connections in your brain for the better.

Catching yourself before you get too triggered is definitely the challenge. Daily mindfulness activities such as journaling, prayer, meditation and self-care are excellent proactive ways to help yourself.

I also like to have a few mantras in my mind so that when I am stressed they automatically come to mind. You can download FREE parenting mantras. Reminders to myself such as "This is not an emergency", "Choose love", "my child is having a hard time" and "I can do this", all help me when I feel triggered. To gain access to ALL my freebies, sign up for my newsletter.

Homeschooling Tips For Entrepreneurs With Meaghan Jackson

Are you a working homeschooling parent? Perhaps you were forced into that role because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

This week I was honoured to be a guest on the Author to Authority Podcast.

Join me as I share more about how to successfully homeschool and run a business.

You can listen to the episode here

You can watch the episode here 

Tell me what you thought of the interview in the comments below!

The Secret of Peaceful Parents

The secret to those who have discovered a more peaceful, respectful way of parenting is that they have a different mindset towards parenting. They have a different internal dialogue that translates into how they relate to their children.

 

If you want to parent well then you need to work on yourself too. Parenting is about so much more than raising your children, having them do well in school, eating healthy and being kind and obedient. Those are nice things of course, but parenting is about relationships. We all know that we cannot control another person, or force them to change. But we can work on ourselves and be the best model we can for our children to follow. And yes, that doe include mistakes, which is part of what makes us human.

 

There is an important reason that airlines instructions tell you to first put the mask on yourself before you help your child. That is because you can’t help others when you are suffering and struggling! I’m sure you’ve also heard that you can not give when you are on empty. And yet we see it over and over again that parents are trying to keep pressing on and moving forward, trying to teach their children to manage their emotions without regulating their own.

 

So how can we parent with a new perspective? How can we manage our own emotions while parenting at the same time?

 

Notice your triggers. Pay attention to what bothers you most and be aware of those things that push your buttons. You may need to work on resolving those issues, but just being aware can help you acknowledge and remain more calm.

 

Stop and pause. Take a deep breath and remind yourself why you are trying to change. The more often you stop yourself from following your old habit, the better you will get at it. Sure you might realize too late or mid yell. But you are trying and each try gets better.

 

Reduce Stress and Increase self-care. When you are under a lot of stress you cannot parent at your best. Find ways to reduce the stressors In your life along with finding ways to relax. Each person is different but there are lots of ways out the to let off steam and relax.

 

Find out more about emotions. Learning how your body reacts and how the brain works will help you to reason and accept your feelings. Learn more about anger or other feelings that you find come up often in yourself. Negative feelings are most often the warning light or signal of a deeper need that is not being filled.

 

Get some help. You may have certain triggers or childhood memories that are blocking you from moving forward. Having someone to talk to can help.  Determine the level of help that you might need, but remember when you care for yourself you are better able to care for others. 

What are some ways that you help regulate your emotions? Tell us what works for you.

For more support in your parenting journey follow me on Facebook and Instagram @joyfulmudpuddles and join my Parenting Support Group on Facebook

What if they fall behind?

Have your children been home from school for the past few months? 

Are you already a homeschooler but school has looked different now that you are home all the time?

I know that for many parents a nagging worry is forming in the back of heir minds. What if my children are falling behind? Am I doing enough? Will this long break from school mess them up?

The short answer is NO! They are not messed up, or behind.

For one thing the entire world would now be behind because all the schools have been closed at some point. Everything has changed. We are all learning to adapt to this new normal.

How are you adapting? How are you dealing with all the changes going on in the world? Have you had to learn a new way to work from home?

This is the point. This is where the focus should be. It may seem subtle but it is so important. LIFE SKILLS are what will be the big difference between those who thrive and those who survive this pandemic. Are you teaching your children how to adapt? How to deal with stress? Are you teaching them about self care? Kindness towards others? 

Children who learn how to learn, to be resilient and flexible in any situation will do better in life! So before you panic and throw one more math sheet at your already stressed out child, let us look at the big picture.

What are some of the characteristics and life skills you want your children to learn or have hen they grow up? Go ahead and brainstorm. Even do this with your partner or kids.  What does your unique family value?

Here is a partial list to help you get the idea

Compassion

Empathy

Respect for others

Honesty

Resilience

Curiosity

Motivated

Courage

Communication

Problem Solving skills

Responsibility

Self control

What if you viewed each challenge during your day as an opportunity to practice or teach to your future goals? When the kids are fighting you get to teach and practice problem-solving and good communication!

If you are worried about academics, by all means include that as part of you day. Try not to obsess over the tiny details. Give yourself and your kids grace. This is a strange time and we need to be a bit more relaxed.

Here are some activities that still encourage learning, but also focus on family connection. This of all the math, science, art, history, physical activity involved as you read the list...

Baking

Cooking

Board games

Reading

Hikes

Sketching

Painting

Play dough

Sensory play

Family movie night

Video games

Stop motion video

Making a family movie

Foraging

Dance party

Building forts

Sand box or dirt pile

Small world play

Lego

Dress-up

This is the time to be focusing on connection. Helping your child to feel safe, secure and loved. They need help navigating their big feelings in a healthy way. Lets face it we all need help with our big emotions these days.

I know you can do it! Let go of your worries and enjoy being with your children. My hope is that this time will be filled with fond memories you have created together.

If you are struggling at all with your parenting or homeschooling I would love to come along side to support your family. Visit Joyful Mud Puddles for more or join my Facebook group for more support and to get to know me better.