How Infant Development Helps Parent Development

HOW INFANT DEVELOPMENT HELPS PARENT DEVELOPMENT 

Guest Post by Heather Boyd, O.T.

Our role as mothers, and as parents, is one that can surprise us, and the worries that we end up having in supporting our baby’s development can be intense. Who would have thought we’d be so interested in the minute movements of our babies, from chest rising and falling as they sleep, to watching their tongue stick out in imitation of us, to the shape and colour of their poop! Although I talk a lot about infant development (it’s been my focus professionally for over 20 years), we don’t often talk about how our baby’s development is woven into the fabric of our own development as parents. 

OFTEN OUR CURIOSITY AND DELIGHT (AND WORRY!) ABOUT OUR BABY'S DEVELOPMENT TAKES THE FRONT STAGE: 

When will they roll? 

When will they crawl? 

When will they eat solids? 

When will they say their first word?  

When will they sleep through the night? 

Underneath these questions, though, are more uncertain ones: 

What can I do to make sure my baby grows and thrives? 

If my baby has trouble (crawling, managing solids, sleeping) is it my fault? 

What toys do I need so my baby can develop the way they should? 

How do I get this "right" so I help my baby develop? 

Why does so much of what I read conflict with each other? 

How do I know what to do? 

Somewhere under the questions, the curiosities, and the concerns, is a deeper truth:  your parenting role matters more than what usually gets appreciated. And yet not always in the way you expect. 

 YOU ARE THEIR WORLD, AND YOU ARE ENOUGH 

There is no such thing as perfect parenting, or the perfect environment. What there is, however, is the possibility of deep joy and curiosity about who your baby is, what amazing skills they will express next, and how to keep "caught up" with the incredible speed at which your baby is changing. 

I see one of the most powerful roles we can play as mothers is simply to establish a loving, safe, and simple yet stimulating environment for our babies to develop skills at their own pace. By focusing on the relationship (and our secure attachment) with our babies we are in a better position to make decisions about what our babies need, and can take greater joy in watching their development emerge. 

So, as your baby grows in the coming months and years, remember that you are growing too! Keep your eye on the biggest priority of all -- the one that keeps your baby's world secure and fascinating: your relationship with them. Which means that while you feel like parenting is all about your baby, it’s worthwhile flipping that idea over and reflect on parenting being all about you: 

The world you create for your baby helps them feel safe and secure. And this supports babies in being confident and curious, calm and playful. 

The simple yet nurturing relationship you are working towards having with your child will do far more to support their motor, cognitive, and emotional development than any toy will ever do. 

What can you do to support your own development? Here are four ideas to reflect on: 

1. Self-regulation: by focusing on your own feelings and needs, and your ability to regulate your reactions, you are able to process information better and make decisions that align more with your priorities as a parent. 

2. Growth of your own priorities, traditions and values. The perspectives you had before becoming a parent might start feeling kind of outdated! And although there are traditions and values that hold deep value for you, there may be new parenting perspectives that you are developing that feel at odds with what you expected. Approach the shift in your role and your identity as a parent with flexibility and self-forgiveness. Change is hard, navigating new roles can include grieving the loss of old ones, but your personal growth as a mother can also feel powerful. 

3. Holding space for big feelings (your own and your baby's!): After reflecting on your own big feelings, it is naturally easier to accept and hold space for your baby' feelings. Baby-hood can be frustrating! And a young mind cannot yet regulate these big feelings without support. By staying as calm and soft as possible, you are helping your baby manage their own big feelings through co-regulation. 

4. Mental wellness and emotional well-being. Parenting can be anxiety-producing, and many mothers feel overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed. Finding ways to fill your own cup (self-care), feeling sustained emotionally and mentally (rest, connection, and community), and getting skilled support from a mental health professional are three ways to support your own emotional development as a parent. 

Although your baby's development in the first 3 years is profound and incredible, so too is the development you are undergoing. Parenting is an extraordinary and significant journey filled with big ups and downs. And so, as you worry and delight in the transformation you see your baby undergoing, know that your transformation as a parent is just as extraordinary. 

To explore infant and parent development further, see 

heatherboyd.ca/infant-development-circle

Heather was also on the Joyful Mud Puddles Podcast 
talking about Infant Sleep Development

Connect With Heather

Family Sleep & Development: www.heatherboyd.ca 

Grace Under Water Environmental Health: www.graceunderwater.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/heatherboyd.ot 

Instagram: www.instagram.com/heatherboyd.ot

She is Extrarodinary

Did you know you are extraordinary?! Do you feel it?

I haven't always felt that way, but then I love Judy Weber's passion for encouraging Christian women business owners. Yes even coaches need coaches and Judy is an amazing business coach.

I have been so honoured to be a guest twice on her podcast.

Episode 66 - How to Win PR as a Newbie

Episode 33 - Homeschooling Parenting Tips to Thrive as Fempreneurs

Do take a listen and be sure to leave a rating and review.

Self Care for homeschooling and working moms

 

Self care is vitally important for all of use, especially if you are working from home, homeschooling and having to be in mom mode all the time. Here is a tip that works really well for me:

Set a timer. When the timer goes off, check in with yourself. How am I feeling? What are my needs right now? What’s going on right now? This helps you think of yourself and your feelings. You can search for the needs behind the feelings and meet your own needs.

It was an absolute pleasure to be a guest on the Homeschool Mama Self Care Podcast. For more tips on self care and working at home with kids listen to the whole episode here.

Homeschool Mama Self Care Podcast Episode 16

Gentleness in the Bible

 

As a parent I seek to be kind and loving towards my children. Learning about what the bible has to say about gentleness really gets me excited and passionate. Some view gentleness as weak, but it takes great strength of character and self control to be gentle in many situations. Discovering what God has to say about gentleness truly encompasses all that I want to be!

To me gentle parenting is about treating my children the way I want them to treat others. So much of the parenting advice available encourages parents to show a firm hand and teach their kids a lesson. But no one would really want to be spoken to like that as an adult. Gentle parenting is humbling myself and valuing my children as worthy of respect and kindness. Recognizing that they are still learning and growing needing empathy as well as coaching and guidance.

This may sound idealistic but that is what makes my work as a parenting coach different. I am in the tenches as a working, homeschooling mom of three boys. Having struggled deeply and learned how to change my mindset and transform my family's life shows that I've done the hard work and understand what you are going through. You can read more about my story here.

It was such a joy and honour to write a guest post for Gentle Christian Parenting. Gentleness means showing care and respect for others in the way that we act and speak. This is why I love adding that wonderful word to the style of parenting I strive for.

I encourage you to read the whole post here.  

1 What It Means To Have Gentleness

1.1 Gentleness According To The Bible

2 Why Gentleness Is Important

3 10 Ways To Show Gentleness

4 Bible Verses on Gentleness

5 Next Steps For Parenting With Gentleness

Connecting with your Child Helps them Learn

Are you frustrated with homeschooling, wondering how to make the light bulb in your child’s mind turn on more often? Here’s a key that almost always makes a difference: CONNECTING with your child. It’s like a switch.

Connecting with your child enables better learning. You may have heard homeschoolers say “The relationship with your child is always more important than curriculum.” This post elaborates on this idea, giving you an explanation and practical tips that will help you improve your homeschool journey from the foundation of a solid relationship.

Read more of my guest post at 

Homeschooler's Life blog

5 Things to Consider When Choosing a Homeschool Curriculum

 

Confession...

I have a love/hate relationship with homeschool curriculum.

I’m obsessed with looking at new curriculum.

Waiting for the delivery guy…

Opening the box…

That new curriculum smell…

I think I’ve purchased more homeschool curriculum than I can even use in the 18 years I’ll be homeschooling.

But that’s why I hate it. I keep purchasing all this curriculum then I never use half of it.

Over the past few years, looking at curriculum for my own kiddos and working with thousands of homeschooling families, I’ve learned the 5 important things that you need to consider before choosing a homeschool curriculum.

When you take the time to reflect on these 5 things, your homeschool curriculum choices start to narrow and choosing the best one for your family becomes super easy.

Your Goals

Before you even hit Google to begin your search, you need to define your goals. I recommend creating 3-4 goals per kid. If you reach those goals, you can always create more, but it’s better to just focus on a few at a time. 

I usually create 1 for math, 1 for reading, and 1 for writing. Make them specific and attainable within the school year. I tend to make goals that move them forward one small step until they fully master the skill.

By creating smaller goals, you and your child will feel more successful.

Now that you know your goals, you can begin looking for a curriculum that will help you achieve those goals.

Your Ideal Homeschool Day

Before you can consider how to start homeschooling, it’s important to think about your ideal homeschool day. If you lived in a perfect world, what would your homeschool day look like? What would you do? What would you learn about?

Write it all down and don’t hold back.

It’s a good idea to have your ideal homeschool day in your mind when looking for your homeschool curriculum. 

The chance of your ideal day happening may be slim, but if you’re using a curriculum that doesn’t even allow for your ideal day to happen then it never will.

It’s all about having the possibility of your ideal homeschool day.

Your Educational Philosophy

Let’s travel back in time with this one. Take time to reflect on your past educational experiences. What were your favorite subjects? What did you enjoy about your education? What didn’t you enjoy? What would you change about your educational experiences?

Use your answers to design your own educational philosophy for your homeschool.

An important thing to remember here…

You are not choosing a homeschool method. You’re taking your past educational experiences and creating your own unique educational philosophy. How do you want your educational experiences to go for your kiddos?

Your Child’s Learning Style

Most homeschool parents don’t use a child’s learning style correctly. They tend to use only their preferred learning style, but that can severely limit your child’s educational experiences.

All kids learn best through hands-on experiences, no matter what their learning style may be.

A learning style should be used to introduce new concepts/skills then a hands-on activity should follow it to help solidify the information that was learned.

For example, if your child is an auditory learner, you may watch a documentary on fossils and archeology. To help make this information stick, you could follow the video with a fossil dig.

But there is a catch with learning styles as well. Just because your child has a preferred learning style, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use other types of learning styles to introduce concepts. You should use a variety of learning styles throughout the year, especially if your child has a hard time grasping a concept.

By introducing concepts in a variety of ways, your child deepens their learning and develops a greater understanding.

So when you’re looking for a curriculum, you want to make sure the most prevalent learning style is your child’s preferred learning style, but it should also include hands-on activities and other activities that incorporate the other learning styles.

This tip alone should dramatically decrease your curriculum choices. As a quick guide, visual learners do best with literature based curriculum. Auditory learners do best with online/video based curriculum. Kinesthetic learners will do best with either since both should include hands-on activities.

The Right Way to Use a Homeschool Curriculum

Curriculum is not a means to an end. It should not be followed step by step or day by day.

Instead, curriculum is more like a road trip map. When you set out for a road trip, you usually have your end destination in mind, but all the pit stops along the way may not be planned.

A curriculum is the map to get to your end destination, but along the way your child may want to explore rabbit holes. You may spend more time on a certain concept that they are not fully grasping.

A curriculum is just an outline, not your full learning experience. When looking for the best homeschool curriculum for your kiddo, make sure it’s flexible and allows you to explore the pit stops along the way.

Need help choosing a curriculum? Click the image below to download our Choosing Curriculum Guide.

About Amanda

Amanda helps homeschoolers raise self-motivated learners by bringing the adventure of learning right into your living room. She’s the creator of The Captivated Learner and The Learning Lifestyle. Amanda is a single, entrepreneur, homeschooling mama of two kiddos. You can follow her on Facebook.

Juggling it All : Working from Home and Homeschooling

Do you ever get talking with someone and there is just so much to chat about?

What a fun conversation I have with Ashley over at 

The Home School Conversation Podcast!

In this episode, I interview Meaghan Jackson - ex-teacher turned homeschool mom and parenting/home school coach so that we can touch on the ever growing concern of juggling work from home with homeschooling - a challenge that many families are either already facing or will begin facing as the COVID-19 pandemic continues.

For more support in your parenting journey follow me on Facebook and Instagram @joyfulmudpuddles and join my Parenting Support Group on Facebook

Mom, You Have A Magic Power To Change Your Home

Today I am so thrilled to have Wendy Gunn from Your Home for God as a guest. Wendy has such wisdom and advice to share with us.

Your Amazing Magic Skill by Wendy Gunn

How a Simple Skill Will Guarantee Smiling Children

Do you wish for a more joyful home and family? Do your children complain and bicker? Would you love to have happy, obedient children? And see smiles on your family’s faces?

What if you had the power to turn your home and family from sour to sweet?

When I was raising our children, I remember one day I walked into the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and was appalled! I immediately smiled at myself, without thinking, and then my heart was chagrined to think that my children had been seeing their mama look at them like that. How much would change if we smiled?

Here are some facts about that magic skill you have that can powerfully transform the people around you (and yourself)!

Did you know:

·     According to various studies, smiling is considered contagious.

·     Smiling activates the release of neuropeptides, neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin, which decrease stress levels, relax the body, lower heart rate, and blood pressure, and serve as an antidepressant/mood lifter.

·     Children smile as many as 400 times a day!

·     Babies smile even in the womb.

Proverbs 17:22—"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…”

Proverbs 15:13—"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance…”

I Smile Therefore I’m Happy

You may be thinking, “I don’t feel like smiling.” “My kids’ behavior doesn’t call for a smile.” “If you had my life, you wouldn’t smile, either.”

I want to ask you, “Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?”

Studies have shown that a smile is beneficial to your health and affects your mood. Unlike the coffee shop, gym, or shopping excursion, it’s free!

Did you grow up in a home where you received smiles? Who do you want to please, the person who smiles at you, or the person who looks at you with disappointment on their face all the time? Your children may not be able to express it, but they’d do just about anything for your smile.

A Grateful Countenance

Is it possible that a smile isn’t the result of happiness, but may be the cause of it?

What does the Word of God say about this? A heart of gratitude is God's will for us. (1 Thessalonians 5:18) Gratitude will transform our parenting, homes, and put a smile on our faces. Let’s begin to cultivate a heart of gratitude, and not wait for emotional happiness! Then, I believe we can develop the habit of wearing a cheerful expression that is genuine, from the heart.

When we obey Philippians 4:8 and think on what is true, honest, pure, of good report, and worthy of praise, our thoughts will overflow into our hearts, producing thankfulness, which will, in turn, change our countenance: our eyes and mouth will reflect our heart!

There is scientific evidence to indicate that you can also work backward, and your smile will affect your heart! I believe God would have us do both at the same time!

Practice wearing a facial expression that is pleasant, happy even, and see if it doesn’t make a difference! Here are some reasons why.

Observations I’ve Made About Smiling

It’s difficult to complain while smiling!

It’s hard to be unhappy for long while smiling!

Others around you will smile when you smile, and that makes you smile more!

Begin the Habit of Smiling:

1.   Think of all the Lord has done for you: Read Psalm 34 and the last chapters of Psalms, especially Psalm 150!

2.   Make a little folder in your brain of things that make you smile:

a)   People you love

b)   Flowers, gardens, trees or other scenery you love

c)   The ocean or other places you enjoy visiting

d)   Babies

e)   Kittens and puppies

f)    Funny experiences

g)   Favorite foods

h)   Happy memories

Store up memories that make you smile and start and end the day with gratitude. There is always something to be thankful for!

Take your thoughts captive and determine to think on those things that are lovely, praiseworthy, good, true, honest, of good report, as Philippians 4 commands! And let your mouth curve upward as you think of them!

Psalm 150 doesn’t indicate that you have to feel happy before you obey this command. But, maybe you’ll feel happier afterward if you read them to your children (who will easily memorize and recite these verses) daily! What facial expression do you think the Lord had in mind when He led the Psalmist to write these words?

Today, put on a smile!

 

Psalm 150: “Praise ye the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.

² Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.

³ Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.

⁴ Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.

⁵ Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.

⁶ Let every thing that hath breath praise the Lord. Praise ye the Lord.”

Homeschooling Tips For Entrepreneurs With Meaghan Jackson

Are you a working homeschooling parent? Perhaps you were forced into that role because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

This week I was honoured to be a guest on the Author to Authority Podcast.

Join me as I share more about how to successfully homeschool and run a business.

You can listen to the episode here

You can watch the episode here 

Tell me what you thought of the interview in the comments below!

In Conversations with Meaghan Jackson

I was honoured to be interviewed by Deepshikha at You Me & Kaira. Her blog has so much to share about motherhood. My interview was part of her series sharing stories of different mothers from around the world.

We talk about why parent coaching is needed especially during this time. Also about the common factors for parenting failures today. I share a bit more about what I do as a coach and my message to mothers.

Join me over at You Me & Kaira for the whole story....

Guest Post: 10 Ways to keep toddlers busy so Mom can get some work done!

I am so excited to have Ashley from Navigating Homeschool as a guest today. She has some great activities to keep your toddler busy while you work. I know I'll be trying some of these out with my youngest. Her post comes at a perfect time because so many more parents are trying to work from home during the COVID pandemic.

Guest Post: 
10 ways to keep toddlers busy so Mom can get some work done!

All of us moms are insanely busy. It never seems like our to-do list ever ends, and if you are a working mom, you need to have that time to focus. Have you tried to entertain your toddler so you can get things accomplished, but it didn't seem to work? Well, today I want to share with you 10 different ideas to keep your toddler busy, so you can get things done!

1. Give them different items to transfer. Pom poms and bottles, spoons, paper roll, etc.

Young children love transferring things and putting small items into other objects. Give them some pom poms and a bottle. Let them fill it up and then try to get them back out. You could even give them two different bins and a spoon for them to transfer them. There are tons of things you can do with pom poms.

2. Playdoh

Playdoh is such an amazing resource. It helps strengthen those little hands for future activities. You can find several different playdoh mats on Pinterest. These are a great addition to your playdoh collection.

3. Car mat

You could create a quick car mat for your little one to drive on. All you would need is a large construction board and some markers. The lines don't have to be perfect! Add some different lines for the cars to follow and some colored parking spots. As a bonus, take some of your child's toys to place around the mat as some landmarks!

4. Box with crayons

Do you have any large boxes you recently received from a package? If so, hand your child some crayons and ask them to draw you a vehicle. After they completed drawing and if they come running to your feet, tell them to go drive their new car around the house!

5. Noodles and string

Almost everyone has a box of pasta in their house. Hopefully, you carry some of the hollow ones. If you do, grab some string, a few handfuls of pasta, and give them to your child to make a necklace or noodle rope. Don't forget to tie a large knot at the bottom of the string.

6. Bubble wrap

This is a super simple activity. We had leftover bubble wrap from Christmas that I decided to keep to reuse for another package. Instead, I decided to give it to my kids. It's not what I wanted to use it for, but it enabled me to get some things accomplished around the house. Do you remember the pure bliss of popping those tiny bubbles as a little kid?

7. Sticky wall

A sticky wall is a great way to keep young children entertained while you focus on your important task. All you need is some adhesive protection liner and some items they can use to stick. When placing the protection liner against the wall, chair, or whatever you are using. Fold the sides of the protective liner, so they stick to your desired surface. If you are worried about pulling paint off of the wall, you can use painter tape. Ask them to create a scene on the wall for you to see whenever you are done with your task!

Here are a few items for a sticky wall

• pom poms
• foam letters
• sticks, leaves, and flowers
• stripes of paper
• cereal, noodles, etc
• small toys

8. Sensory bins

Young kids love playing with things they have not seen before or in a long period. They also enjoy messes, but sensory bins do not have to be a complete mess. Of course, there are going to be some things (or all of the stuff) that falls out of the bin from them playing. However, you can choose to make a sensory bin out of items that do not make a huge mess, as rice or beans would. We do rice and bean sensory bins frequently and let me tell you... My husband just loves finding rice and beans weeks later (not!).

Here are a few ideas you could use for a little less messy sensory bin.

• Pom poms
• cotton balls
• scarfs
• thick scraps of paper

9. Crayola magic markers coloring kit

These are perfect for the times you need to focus on something. Let's face it when you hand a kid a crayon or marker there is a good chance they are going to color on something they shouldn't.

These markers will not draw on anything besides the special paper! We use them whenever we are traveling or eating out at a restaurant. They are completely awesome.

10. Knock over towers

Another favorite is knocking over paper towels or toilet paper. If you have any of these items with the plastic wrapping still on them, show your kids how to set them up and give them a light ball they can knock them over with. My kids always make a b-line for the packs of toilet paper whenever I bring them in the house. They love stacking up these larger, light items and knocking them down!

Final Thoughts...

Busy moms need time to get things done and I know we don't want our children sitting with a screen in their faces all day. Give some of these ideas a try. It may take some time to figure out what activities really entertain them. They may even look at one activity for only a few minutes or they finish it quickly. In case that happens, set up a backup plan to hand them while you are working. Overall, I hope these ideas help you!

What is one of your child's favorite activities whenever you are busy? Tell me in the comments below!

Meet Ashley!

Ashley is the writer of this post. She has a background in psychology and is a homeschooling mom of two young children. They strive to learn through play. Her homeschooling method is more relaxed and enjoyable. You can find more of her content at www.navigatinghomeschool.com