Hardened Hearts and Missed Opportunity

Photo credit: pixabay.com

What is your knee jerk reaction or answer to your children?  Do you take time to think outside the box or even consider their requests?

I'll be honest, because most of the time my go to answer is "no, not right now".  Let's face it I'm tired (exhausted, worn out) and my kids make some crazy requests.

But something really stuck with me all week from my bible study. It wasn't even the main point of the lesson but, the disciples missed out on the amazing magnitude of the miracles of the feeding of the 5000 and Jesus walking on water because their hearts were hardened.  How does this speak to me personally?  Wow I could be missing out on a whole lot!!! All week I've been pondering what I could be missing out on because of my attitude, my heart, my rushing about...

Near the end of the week we went for a walk in the forest with some friends.  At the beginning of our walk we passed the sink holes that my boys love to play in.  There was a discarded Christmas tree in one.  MJ immediately asked if he could take it home.  At first I didn't understand what he was going on about.  But then I saw the tree. A dried up mangy pine tree frozen into a snowy sink hole just past my neighbours' house.

Seriously! What would you say??

The tree at the top of the sink hole

I don't know if it was MJ's enthusiasm, or the fact that I was with my friend or what, but instead of jumping in with a usual "No" and lengthy reasons not to, stopped to think for a moment.

Really what would be the harm? Maybe he won't be able to get it out and move on. Is it illegal? Why not? Just because it was inconvenient for me doesn't mean I should say no.

So I said, "Sure you can try to get it out.  But we'll have to come back for it at the end of our walk or after our friends go home."

Our walk didn't go exactly as my friend and I had planned.  One child was cold and tired, one was obsessed with his plans to rescue a tree, and two wanted to go further into the woods. Anywho we finished out time in the forrest and said good bye to our friends. Immediately MJ grabbed a shovel and begged to go back for the tree.

I really wanted him to take the ownership on this one.  Frankly I wanted nothing to do with it. But I was going along with it.  We did talk about getting some extra gear and talked about a plan of action.  TJ had some good ideas too.  On our way back to the woods we were getting grumpy, tired and hungry.  By the time we arrived I was not in the mood at all for this adventure.  Then it hit me again.

What might I be missing out on with my hardened heart?  We have in front of us the potential for a grand adventure, or a grumbly miserable mess... So I prayed with the boys. Our spirits lifted again and we joined as a team.

My boys working together to drag the tree

MJ and TJ set to attaching ropes to the tree.  Baby JJ and I slide up and down the banks of the sink hole.  The boys pulled, I dug and pushed.  We hauled and tugged and overcame!!!

Those boys felt so proud and triumphant dragging that tree down our icy laneway.

"We did it! Look at my tree. It was worth it mommy wasn't it?" MJ inquired.
"It was darling." I replied

It was so worth it my darlings

When we got home they set to work sawing, and pruning the branches.  MJ made mini Christmas trees for us all.  TJ got the trunk to use for a fort.  MJ used some pine needles for a craft too. He had asked me to put all the mini trees away in the house for next Christmas.  OK I had to draw the line somewhere.  So I suggested he find a nice place to set them up outside to stay fresh and frozen.  Apparently out front porch is all ready for next Christmas already!

A mini tree for little JJ's next Christmas

I am truly thankful to have softened my heart to say YES this time.  It reminds me to slow down and think before answering.  Perhaps you might soften your heart too and discover some amazing moments that could have been easily missed.


I hope you'll follow us on Facebook.  Please do share your thoughtful moments and fun adventures with us in the comments.

When should children go to sleep?

Photo credit: Pixabay

Sleep.... it is elusive here some times.  At least for us as parents of young children.

In our family we have come to recognize that each member of our family has a very different sleep pattern. It took us a long time to break from what main stream society tells us about how and when people should go to bed for the night. When should children go to sleep? When they are tired of course! G
oing to bed for the night is a bit different for us.  This is a chance to wind down, relax and prepare to fall asleep.

When the boys were younger I spent hours sitting in my boys' room each night trying to help them get to sleep.  One was tired, the other wasn't.  I was annoyed.  It just dragged on.  We tried being more strict. We tried everything....

Oops the photo is sideways.  But Daddy and TJ love to hang out a while a bedtime.

We realized that MJ is more of a night person like daddy, while TJ and I prefer to go to bed earlier and are fresh in the morning. So MJ started off playing with toys in bed (we tried to keep him quiet).  A major break through came when the boys asked for separate rooms again.  I was reluctant at first, but saw the great benefit for these two to have some space from each other.

Basically MJ listens to audio stories or dance music while playing Lego, Playmobil or stickers late into the night until he falls asleep.  Then daddy or I go empty out his bed and turn off the noise.  TJ on the other hand listens to audio stories or quiet music.  He looks at picture books for a few minutes and then falls asleep early.  We just go with it and somewhere in there we catch a short break for our selves.

Now of course with the baby I was just working with when he seemed tired.  Nowadays he seems reluctant to go for naps and bed, but does go right to sleep.  So I'll just go with that for now until we can see a need for change.

Amazingly we all might have missed out on a lot if we had insisted that they go to be early each night.  

MJ made little paper drawings of all the Super Mario characters one night
so he could play with his paper guys the next day with his older brother.

MJ does most of his deep learning late at night!! It's fascinating really.  This little boy who runs about like a Tasmanian devil during the day will settle quietly (okay not silent or anything, but quiet enough) for a few hours focused on a task in bed.  He comes up with the most amazing Lego creations, elaborate story lines, practices reading, writing, creating and more.  I am so proud of what he can accomplish.  I honestly wish we had more energy and patience to put in to mentoring him and working on the cool ideas he comes up with.

TJ enjoys special time with daddy in the evenings.  He likes to chat about his day and what is on his mind. He is full of questions that we are happy to answer.

What if they won't go to bed??

We do have that trouble some nights.  For the longest time everyone was waking up around 7am, but as the fall and winter wore on everything was getting later and later.  We were all cranky and tired.  So I talked to the boys about it.  We all discusses why we need sleep, how to help our bodies relax and get ready for bed, what our new plans might look like.  They agreed that the whole family needed to work together to help everyone have the opportunity for a good rest at night.  Since then it's been a lot better.  Instead of feeling like I'm nagging them to go to sleep, they understand that I'm gently reminding them.

Sure we have some days that go better than others.  Don't we all?  The point is not to stress about it.

Breaking from the 'normal' mold can be scary and awkward at times.  But really it is our family we are focused on, no one else. So why compare.  This is what works best for us right now.

How about you?  When do you like to go to bed??

Christmas Reflections

Happy New Year!!  I truly hope that this year is starting off well for you.

How was your Christmas and December holidays?  I'd love to hear all about what you did and how you felt about everything.

After the hustle and bustle of the holiday season ended I reflected on how things went and what I might do differently next year.

This is all I could manage to capture for a Christmas photo

Now don't get me wrong.  I love Christmas and had a wonderful time with my family.  The boys's excitement just makes it all so much more enjoyable.  Oh I wish you could have seen how thrilled TJ was opening his stocking.  It truly made my day.

What I did really like was talking about things before hand with the boys.  We made a list of their favourite Christmas activities and tried to fit them all in.  I also did my best to keep things simple and not to over schedule.  This all went very well. We also kept the gifting simple but perfect for each child.  They were so excited to give each other items they'd specially chosen too.

Another thing I loved was that their toys came alive this year!  No creepy Elf on the Shelf for us. It was just for the fun of it.  I had heard of Dinovember but we don't own any dinosaurs, so our stuffed animals had all the fun. You'll have to check our the FB posts on our page to see all the funny things the toys did for more than a month!! It was super fun at first, but there were some days that I wasn't in to it any more.  Perhaps a shorter time if we do that again.

Toys being silly

What got me thinking was that as Christians, Jesus was pushed aside far more than I'd have wanted.  We didn't really focus on Santa much, but just the silly toy, fun things to do, excitement over gifts and such took our focus away from the reason we celebrate in the first place.

Unless I made some major changes I'm sure this will happen again next year.  As the boys get older I'm sure they'll appreciate and understand more.  I mean they do know why we celebrate Christmas and we do try to focus on that, but...

Baking is so much fun

So I was thinking that maybe before Christmas we could do things as usual.  Just enjoy all the fun holiday activities and excitement that ensues.  But perhaps in the quiet afterwards we could turn towards Jesus and be able to give more attention to him.  I know that many families celebrate Epiphany and so we wouldn't be alone in that.

So what are your thoughts?
How do you balance it all??

 I think it's good to reflect on things. My hubby and I talked a bit too about how things felt a little different this year.  As we get older we recognize that the magic of the season seems more for the kids than us, and that felt oddly noticeable for me this year.  Hmmm...

How did your Christmas go?
Anything you'll be changing up this year?

Parenting is tough!!!

Parenting can be hard.  I love my kids I really do, but as I sit here tonight reflecting on the day... let's just say it was rather a hard one.  I'm drained and too tired to do anything even though my to do list is a mile long.  My darling husband is feeling the same way.

Let's just say this right now to get it out of the way.  My way of parenting will be different than yours.  We have different children, beliefs, priorities and such.  I'm okay with that if you are.

My middle son is six years old.  For those of you familiar with Waldorf education you will have heard of the 6 year change.  Yup it's a real thing and we are dealing with it right now.  I know it shall pass and well will all be okay because we've already weathered this storm with our oldest.  I'd say it's more of a crazy rollercoaster ride with big emotions to navigate.

There different ways of approaching a child with strong feelings that come across as defiant, angry, aggressive, bad tempered, annoying... my list can go on about the ways MJ has been acting lately.  Of course there are fabulous things too about the little guy, but today was full of big feelings that came out with hitting, name calling and ignoring direction.

A few weeks ago with our first snowfall

We do our best to have firm loving boundaries.  When MJ did something really hurtful or dangerous today I did as many would do and gave a punishment (took away his screen time).  When it happened later in the day he lost his evening TV time too.  I don't usually take this approach but I had already given multiple warnings, reminders, talks, time outs... Anywho late afternoon was horrible around the house.  He was so upset and angry with everyone and took it out on all of us.  It got worse and he burst into tears.

I'd like to say now that I was able to diffuse the situation quickly but we have other children in the home, dinner and other things going on.  So it is complicated and difficult.  Surely you understand.

When I finally got some alone time with my little boy his feelings burst out.  He shared how he felt his punishments were unfair, he wanted his screen time back.  He was showing us how mad he was.  Inside he felt like he wanted to put a garbage can full of poop on my head because he was so upset that he lost his Wii time because he had forgotten the rules (we've been struggling with dangerous maneuvers on the couch).  So that is why he put his empty smelly garbage can on me.  We cuddled and talked some more about what he had done, who he had hurt, what would be a better way to deal with it all.  We are still working on how to remember the rules, but instead of loosing all his screen time he asked if he could take on extra chores for the couch stunts.  As for hurting his big brother he asked if TJ could get extra Wii time and an apology.

I totally could have stuck to my guns today.  MJ would be denied any screens as punishment for loosing control.  But instead I chose to connect with my little boy.  We talked about his feelings, why things happened, what we could do differently.  I chose to deal with his heart and our relationship.  Yes I changed my mind, but I am glad I did.  The rest of the evening went great and he was much calmer.  I learned a lot about what he is dealing with these days.

Will he go wild again?  Of course!  Will he hurt his brothers again? Probably tomorrow morning.  Will we have to have more discussions?  YES! and I'll do that first before jumping in with empty threats.

Life is a journey.  It is hard, messy, rewarding and wonderful.  I am so glad to be on this ride with my boys.  Let's see what tomorrow brings.

Oh such exciting news (no it's not a baby)

I am so excited to share with you a new way to clean your home!  Can you imagine cleaning almost your entire house with just water and a microfiber cloth?!  Seriously I can't get over how the Norwex company is changing our lives.

It all started out because a friend asked me to do her a favour and host a Norwex party to get her business going.  I figured I had nothing to loose, so I agreed.  She also asked if I wanted to come to an event with her, get a free gift and maybe win a prize.  I'm all over free stuff and I needed a night out.  At the end of the meeting I discovered that they had a special offer that month to sign up for only $10.  The starter kit that month (September 2016) had several cloths I wanted and it was an offer I couldn't refuse.  It all took off from there! I love the flexibility in my hours, the wonderful people I meet and being able to help support my family.  I believe in these product and can't wait to share them with you.

So what makes these cloths so special? Check out this video It is all about the microfiber!

I love the whole mission of of Norwex.  Who wouldn't want to change the world!  I also love how much support I have ben getting from behind the scenes.  I really am having fun with this.

My biggest supporter is my oldest son.  TJ couldn't wait until we got our own mop.  It is officially his mop that I may borrow!  As soon as an order arrives her happily helps me sort out orders, and test out new products.  I'm sure we will be seeing more of his sales techniques and demos on my Facebook page. MJ now calls the FedEx truck the Norwex truck because they have been coming here with deliveries often.

I would love to share my new passion with you.  You can learn more about cleaning with Norwex through my website, Facebook page and special VIP Facebook group!

Website Meaghan Jackson at Norwex

Facebook Page CleaningJoyfully

VIP Customer Group Meaghan's Norwex VIP

Who's plans do we go with today?

I'm putting myself out there today... No answers, just pondering. I'm struggling with my homeschool ideals (method, plans...).

This year I feel a pressure to do 'more' with my boys.  Last year we unschooled and had a new baby added to our family. There was a lot of adjustment with that and and I didn't see as many measurable projects that the boys were into.  This year I have some plans.

My plan is to use our Waldorf stories along with some different math sources, Reading A-Z and a few other things.  The boys are supposed to do a little school work for me in the morning and then do their own projects/interests, playing the rest of the day.  Of course there are chores, activities, field trips and such mixed in too.

But what if they have their own plans?

I mean I made my lessons fun and kept things short.  Some days things flow beautifully.  And others don't.

This morning MJ became deeply engrossed in Playmobil right after breakfast (he has been making his own kits and looking up instructions online).  TJ wasn't quite awake yet and went off to listen to a Magic Tree House audio story.  Should I have pulled them from what they were doing to follow my plans?

I decided to take the baby outside to play instead.

Later TJ did come out to join us.  He wasn't particularly busy so I strongly (told him he had to) encouraged him to work on his form drawing outside with me.  He is learning the cursive letters for his name right now.  MJ came outside and began building a motor with his spare parts. Then they started trading parts, planing and building together.  I reminded them of my plans, but they said they had other ideas.  Together they poured over car manuals and went back outside to plan their next build.

So I am sitting here asking myself.  Who's plans do we follow today?

To some it may appear like my boys are being defiant and I should make them come inside to do their school work.  To others it looks like I am imposing my own agenda on these creative souls.  I personally am referring to the goals I set out for our home.  Our mission statement if you will. And it looks like their building project falls more in line with what I really want for our family.  So I will not interrupt unless I have to.

Come visit us on Facebook to see photos of what we've been up to!!

If I don't make them, how will they ever learn to _______?

You fill in the blank.

Because we unschool and don't follow a specific curriculum or schedule, people often worry and wonder how my children will ever learn anything.  I have had it suggested to me that my boys take some classes or lessons so that they learn to listen to another adult and learn to sit quietly.  I can see where they are coming from (a traditional view of school settings) but I often wonder why?  Why do they have to?

Anywho I'm getting away from myself here. Today we went to a new church.  At this church the children stay in the service for a while before going to their class.  My boys have only done this once before, a few years back.  My point is that children a fully capable of understanding a situation and know how to behave appropriately.  They can look around to see what others are doing.  They may not be perfect, but they can do their best.  My boys both sat quietly without me between them.  They followed along, drew quietly on the bulletins and were awesome!  I didn't threaten or bribe.  We don't practice this behavior daily.  They understood that we are quiet in church and did their best.  I was one proud mama!!  I also model how to interact with others and they copy.  My boys are very comfortable talking with adults and answering questions for themselves.  In fact they love to chat.  I was so pleased that I fought the urge to stay at home this morning.

Oh, another bonus is that we went to the church down the street so the boys rode their bikes.  I was a little more tired from pushing the stroller to keep up.  I think I'll be getting a bicycle seat for the baby as his birthday gift.

In case you are wondering how these children of mine will learn to read and write without structured lessons??? They are curious and can't help but pick it up.  I read to them, they learn the alphabet and start sounding things out.  some times it takes some direct instruction (and that is okay too). The excitement of getting a word correctly motivates them to keep going.  TJ was so proud the other day to read to us.  MJ is thrilled to be starting to read too!  So we may be slower that their school friends but, it comes more naturally with less of a fight.  And writing happens that way too.   During the service MJ wrote a letter A (he was so pleased with how perfectly he wrote it). This turned into his whole name.  Next he asked how to spell different words and wrote some things down.  No lesson, just doodling quietly during the church service.  The boys also practice their writing with cards, notes, lists and other things that naturally come up in our day.

The lessons that stick with us the longest are the ones that we sought after and wanted to learn.


Don't forget to follow along with our journey on Facebook.
I'd love to hear what you are doing too.