Mama is learning too

We all know that you are never too old to learn something new.  My boys are interested in all sorts of topics that I hadn't thought to explore beyond the surface.  I know a whole lot more about trucks, space and poop than I ever expected.  But not all lessons we learn are academic...

My Wild Things
I passed by a sweet friend (she has four young boys) I hadn't seen in a while.  She ask how I was doing.  My look must have said it all.

"Surviving?" She inquired.

"Yes, that is life with the boys right now."

"Same here.  Boys are loud, messy and shout a lot."

"I know! I find I'm shouting at them to stop screaming. Some times I wonder why God
gave me all these boys."

"I've been asking that a lot since we had our youngest one."

"I'm sure God has a reason.  He knew they needed us and chose us to be their moms."

"I keep reminding myself that all the time."

"You know I think perhaps it is me that needs them.  God is using the boys to work on things in me."

We chat a bit more, hug and go our ways.

And so in that brief conversation this evening, God spoke right to my heart.  Yes He chose me to be the mom to my boys.  Only He knows why, and what it is I can provide these boys.  But the real lessons are for me.  God is not finished with me yet.  I have a lot to learn.

My patients is being tested daily (hourly really).  I'm a slow learner because He keeps having me practice that one.  I am also learning how to speak gently.  I expect it from the boys but I know I don't always model it very well.

It is a great responsibility to model the behaviour I expect from my children.  I struggle mostly once I am tired or stressed.  I could come up with a tone of excuses (the noise, fighting, noise, stress, activity, noise) but in the end they still look to me for guidance.

I am so thankful for grace and forgiveness.  I can give myself grace as I know God does.  He doesn't expect perfection (which is great), but He does want me to do my best.  When I do slip up and throw a monstrous mommy tantrum I know I can also model how to ask forgiveness from my boys.  Still a valuable lesson for them to learn.  We reconnect and try again.

I am thankful for these lessons.  Thankful for my boys.  Thankful that God has not given up on me.  He is still working on making me into the woman He wants me to be.

What lessons are you learning?  What are your children teaching you?  What are you working on?