Tuesday, 5 April 2016

Your Homeschool Stories: Learning That I’m Not My Kid’s Savior

I am so pleased that Amy Fritz from Amy Writes is sharing her story with us today.  Thank you so much for your words of wisdom.  It is a great reminder for me and all of us.


Learning That I’m Not My Kid’s Savior

I never completely bought the lie, but I’ve been seeing it more and more lately. Sometimes the homeschooling world communicates a message that we can somehow, if we work hard enough, ensure a certain outcome for our children. It’s a lot to carry. I know because I’ve tried.

Create a warm, learning environment.

Foster a love of reading by providing good literature.

Feed them the perfect, natural food.

Let them study things that interest them.

Go on family trips together and make it a learning experience.

(my lovely family and I on our way to Thanksgiving last year)

There are more things I could add to the “list of things homeschool moms should do so their kids grow up to be world-changers.” All of those are good things, but what about the seasons where we can’t do all these things? What if we miss something?

If our child’s success in life is dependant on the things we do, what does it mean when we struggle?

A few months ago, my kids and I were spending the afternoon with some friends. I had coached my oldest through a tricky relationship in preparation for the play date. Everything went great until about an hour into our time with the group. That’s when the boys decided they were going to play football.

Guess what my husband and I had never taught our kids? Yep. Football.

Ethan wasn’t sure how to join in and ended up on the outside making up his own thing to do by himself. How could I have not taught him how to play football? I had spent lots of time teaching him any number of other things. None of those things were helpful in that moment. I felt like a failure.

I sent a text to my husband including him in the shame. He assured me we could still teach Ethan to play if he really was interested. All was not lost. I knew he was right, deep down. That one thing wasn’t a huge deal, but in that moment the homeschool mom guilt overwhelmed me.

After I had given it a little time and space. I realized why it bothered me so much. Homeschooling is wonderful in lots of ways, but there were some lies I was telling myself that were making this season of schooling our kids feel heavy.

I was believing the lie that I was responsible for every single thing my kids need in life. All the schooling. All the relationship opportunities and skills. All the spiritual development. It was a load that was crushing me.

The burden was too much for me and it’s too much for you.

This is what rescued me. It’s a simple truth I now tell every mom: God is no more or less able to accomplish His will in your kids based on your performance as a parent.

I will do my best and not be surprised when I mess up or miss something. God is bigger than my imperfections. He gets to be the Savior and I get to be the mom. I can live with that. That’s the load I’m meant to carry.

Are you curious about how the whole football issue turned out? Well, just two weeks ago my brother came to visit and had taken it upon himself to bring some nerf footballs and we had some football lessons!

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Bio:
Amy is a homeschooling mom to three fabulous kids ages 10, 9, and 6. She loves to read, write and tends to over-share when she’s nervous. Their family moved to the Nashville, TN area several years ago when her husband took a job working for Dave Ramsey’s company. You can find her writing at http://amyfritzwrites.com/ or find her on Twitter: @amyfritz.